Mending Laura
A Picture Book
Written and illustrated by Vicky Howe
I was happily trundling along in life; I had a job I loved and found deeply fulfilling; I’d just got back from a holiday of a lifetime, my son was on his way to university, and all was good. In the blink of an eye, my first routine mammogram changed all that, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Suddenly my life became a series of appointments, operations and treatments…and then just as suddenly it was over, and life was supposed to just get back to normal.
Except it didn’t really, and I took the difficult decision to take some time out from work and focus on my recovery. I spent a lot of time with friends and family, time with my dog, and time reading and drawing. As an Early Years teacher and a Fine Art graduate it is maybe no surprise that I began to work through my feelings by creating an illustrated book. Although it reads as a children’s story about friendship, it is really an allegory of how shocked and shattered I felt after my mastectomy, and how the enveloping support and love of the people around me has got me through, and on the journey to life after cancer. I see it as an extended ‘thank you’ to my family and friends, who wrapped me in their arms both physically and metaphorically, and held me, so that I could stay strong enough to begin to repair.
The story tells the tale of Laura, the perfect porcelain doll, who lives a contented life on a shelf with the other toys. Suddenly her serenity is shattered when an accident sees her tumble from the shelf, smashing her porcelain. The family mend her, and put her back in place, but she no longer feels safe and happy. However, the other toys surround and support her in different ways, protecting her until she feels secure enough to begin to accept herself again.
I have created the book as an entirely illustrated piece of work, including the text. I have used cyanotype printing to create each page, and have added to the cyanotype images with pencil drawing, and pen and ink. The toys in the story are my own childhood toys. Laura was a magical Christmas gift and she really is missing her thumb. Jeff was my special teddy who still sits by my bed. Floppy was knitted by my mum when she was pregnant. Charlotte was made by my aunt and named for the rag doll in Little House on the Prairie (one of my favourite childhood stories). I made Tiny Ted a few years ago with scraps from my Grandma’s old sewing basket.
Meet the characters - drawn from my real childhood toys!
My hope is that the story could be used to help children and adults recognise and name emotions they might feel after an operation or injury, or when caring for someone else undergoing a traumatic experience. Having spent years reading other people’s books to children I have taught, it has been a joyful experience to write one – a positive from a dark time.